What is a Father’s Mission?

Do you see fatherhood like a mission? Is it something you’ve been tasked with? A great quest or adventure that you must solve?

I’ve been thinking a lot on the subject of fatherhood and what it all means. How do we approach this epic responsibility in a way that fits with our modern times?

I remember the first time I felt the true weight of being a Dad. I’d strapped my son into his car seat for the first time and gingerly closed the door. He was sleeping and I didn’t want him to wake.

I had to make the short trip across town with him and his mother. I’ve never driven so carefully in my life! I had something of unimaginable value in the car – a new human life.

It was at that point I realised that I wasn’t just the co-creator of this new being. I was also the protector, teacher and guide. My actions would determine if he lived or died.

Survived or thrived.

The Father’s Mission – What it Means to Me

In those early and difficult days of hormones, low quality sleep and stress, I saw my mission more clearly. It was up to me to take ultimate responsibility for what I had created.

Like the writer of a great novel, this legacy was mine to guard and propagate. And love.

I could not be passive in the experience any more than an artist can produce his greatest work and forget instantly what he has done.

It was at that point that I began to understand that my life’s purpose had changed irrevocably. I had a new assignment.

A new mission.

For the purposes of this short text, it’s simpler for me to explain this mission across two aspects. Are there more? Probably. Is there space in this short blog post? Probably not.

Instead I would condense this mission into the following:

• A giver of life
• A custodian of the future

I Have Become the Life Giver

As a young man, my father found himself alone. His parents’ untimely deaths left him, an only child, to face the world unaccompanied. He was the last of his bloodline. Like Chingachgook in Fenimore-Cooper’s Last of the Mohicans, he was left with the heaviest of responsibilities.

In meeting and marrying my mother, he gave his clan the chance and new life it needed. Now, we fill two cars and continue to grow.

Like a pebble dropped in a lake, his impact on the universe continues to ripple outwards.

Your impact as a father is no different. How you got here may not be as dramatic. But your potential to cause a similar impact is equal. You are a giver of life.

New life.

From that new life there comes near endless possibilities and outcomes. Fatherhood is like those ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ novels where a turn of the page could lead you into a different universe.

But there is also responsibility which I’ll come on to later.

What other beings do we know of that give life? Gods.

Many religions (Christianity included) teach that we bear the likeness of our creator.

And so it is with our sons and daughters – our physical likeness is indelibly marked on them for all time. As is our paternal influence.

In those 14 to 16 years where we have near complete control, our children will learn more from us than in the total remainder of their lives.

You, like a god, have created life. What will you do with that unimaginable power?

We are the Guardians of the Future

Entrusted to us are our sons and daughters. Even the petrified 20-something fumbling with the car seat has the ultimate responsibility.

Responsibility to raise what are potential weapons to be caring, loving, hard working and valuable sons, daughters, husbands and wives.

I recently wrote that having a son is like being given a loaded rifle – I wasn’t kidding either. To have the power to influence another human being is a dangerous task. How will we approach this responsibility?

The decisions that we make as Fathers has a knock on effect on the future of our families, towns and nations. Individually we have little influence but that influence is magnified through the lens of successive generations from ours to the next.

Take the example of my own father – the Last of the Mohicans. His influence has shaped a family of six other people. Multiply that through several generations and seismic shifts can be felt.

What will you do with that responsibility? Will you take it as the greatest honour – to be entrusted with raising the future generation.

Or will you goof off, play computer games and watch science fiction movies while your kids eat junk food and watch videos on their iPads? What kind of father are you then?

Where do We Go From Here?

If I had to answer my own question, I’d have to say ‘I don’t know’. I’m still figuring out as I go along.

But added to this is my desire to be the best Dad I can. I started writing again because I knew it would put me in contact with Dads like you.

Dads who feel the same way I do about Fatherhood – who want to be the best they can be. And not just as Dads but as men.

Why? Because we don’t have a choice. The alternative to our approach is the stuff of nightmares. The warning signs are there in our times. Men who think the way we do are an endangered species.

Endangered but not extinct.

And we have the power to multiply – to double, triple or even quadruple our numbers. It will take time, tears and commitment but I know you’re up for the challenge.

And so we come full circle into the father’s mission. Our mission is one of survival. Of self perpetuation. We will continue to raise our sons to be strong, formidable compassionate men and our daughters as equally strong, intelligent, brave women.

That is our mission.

Neil

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