Everyone complains don’t they? At some point everything gets too much and we go on a moan that would shame a 16-year-old girl. But what if you were to stop complaining? Would you notice a difference?
You hear a lot of other parents complaining too don’t you? And seeing as this is a website for Dads (duh), I want to focus on things that Dads need to stop complaining about.
Complaining feels good though doesn’t it? Everyone seems to like a good whinge and whine. But here at TDD, we’re better than that.
We aren’t whiners, we’re winners.
Complaining is negative. Negativity is pervasive and infects everything and everyone you come into contact with. I know – I’ve experienced deep negativity from within.
Worst of all it affects our nearest and dearest – our partners and kids, but colleagues, friends and other relatives are also at risk.
There are so many things we can complain about as Dads. So I’ve compiled my top three things that Dads need to stop complaining about. Keep reading to find out what they are and some tips to overcome them…
Stop Complaining about Tiredness
I know an older couple who are two of the most amazing and selfless people I know. They even took me into their home for six weeks rent-free when I had nowhere else to stay.
Anyway, something they said to me was this:
If everyone who was tired complained about it, we’d never hear the end.
OK, so it’s not going to make an Instagram ‘motivational’ meme any time soon. But it’s true, isn’t it? Being tired is part of life. Right now I’m into my 15th hour of work with a break for a workout and food.
If you’ve got very young children you’re probably nearly on the floor. Every. Single. Evening.
It’s tough. I know. I’m living it with you. Early starts, long work days, bed times, bath times, meal times. Helping with chores, finding time to stay fit. It’s all killer and no chill(er).
Which is why you need to stop complaining about tiredness. We’re all tired. No one cares. Zip it and get on with life instead of whining like a little wimp. There! I said it.
Instead, put your energy into avoiding feeling tired. You could try things like:
Getting to bed earlier than normal
Taking naps (do you see a theme developing?)
Not staying up late to watch that ‘Game of Thrones’ marathon
If you’re persistently fatigued and tired, you’re probably burned out (I wrote a post on this). If this is the case, you need to focus your energies on getting over that, not complaining about it.
Stop Complaining about Sleep Deprivation
I suppose you could link this in with ‘stop complaining about tiredness’, but in my mind it’s a separate issue. I’ve hinted that this is bug-bear of mine.
I even recorded a YouTube video on the subject which I deleted as it came across too harsh.
The words ‘sleep deprived’ get banded around by Dads who have never experienced anything close. If you feel a bit tired (see above) because you were up the night with crying babies then I feel for ya, I really do.
You are NOT sleep deprived.
You’re just a bit more tired than normal.
Come back to me when you start hallucinating (I’ve experienced this).
My Mum has a good saying:
Exaggeration causes one to lose a love for the truth.
That’s what is going down when you play the ‘sleep dep’ card. You’re exaggerating. It’s pathetic. So don’t.
Unless you’re seeing green pixies doing the Limbo. Then it’s fine.
There is an easy way to stop feeling like you aren’t getting enough sleep. Get more.
If you go out to work during the day while your partner stays home, why not have a deal that she deals with night waking during the week and you’ll cover it at the weekend? Or take power naps in the car, on the bus, at your desk (no, don’t)
Don’t believe me? Try it. If sleep quality doesn’t improve, be sure to tell me I’m full of it in the comments below.
Stop Complaining that Your Life is Hard
This Dad Does is a global site. Although most of the traffic comes from western, English speaking countries, there have been some interesting visits from other countries.
Some of these are in the grip of war.
Some have just emerged from it.
Others are on the brink.
When I lived overseas, there was a mentally ill man who would wander the countryside. Children would laugh and throw stones.
His life was hard.
Your life is not hard by comparison. So stop complaining about it. You should be grateful for your job, home, possessions, faith (if you have one) and family. There are plenty of people who don’t have any of these things.
And even if you are finding life hard, who told you that being a Dad was easy? You know it’s not, right? In fact, it’s probably one of the single hardest things you’ll do. Ever.
A couple of years ago, I was struck by how many of my Dad Network were suffering. And then it struck me: much of life is about suffering. How we deal with suffering is what shapes us. Having a positive mindset and saying a big NO to negativity is more than half the battle.
If you feel overloaded, make changes so you don’t:
Take time out for you. Have salt baths (more coming on this soon), listen to ambient music or Binaural beats. Practice active meditation. These things won’t solve the problems in your life. But they will help you to cope better.
Do Everything Without Complaining
There is a verse in the Bible: ‘Do everything without complaining’. Sound advice isn’t it? Stop complaining and leave it to the negative people and parasites. You’ll not only improve your life but those close to you too.
I didn’t want this to come across as negative. Or even complaining about other Dads’ complaints. What I’ve tried to do is suggest ways to overcome the obstacles and challenges we all face.
That has to be better than projecting our negativity onto others