There are fewer more sensitive subjects these days than that of feminism. More recently, celebrities and other ‘famouses’ have scrambled over themselves to proclaim that they are indeed feminists and that everyone with a reasonable bone in their bodies should follow suit.

I’m not one of them.

Instead I am a father of one daughter (and another on the way) who is willing to stand up and say this:

My daughters will not be feminists.

This may sound extreme to the initiated or uninformed. But it’s for their own good. I’m not denying them or bringing them up to be bigots. Instead I’m protecting them from the most harmful ideology in the Western world.

I’ve written before on subjects close to this, in particular the decline of femininity in girls and the unconicidental rise of feminised fathers. But this post is more of a full frontal attack.

It’s not directed against a person or even a group of people, but at a way of thinking. I’m writing this so that you, fellow Dad, may know the ugly truth about feminism and can steer your daughters clear.

If you’ve got to this point and are thinking something along the lines of ‘Not all feminism is bad’, I’d agree. But in this article I’m referring to third wave feminism (1st wave – suffragettes, 2nd wave – equal rights and bra burning, 3rd wave – keep reading).

I’m not making any apologies for using the word ‘feminism’ as a catch-all. In the West, third wave feminism is all you get.

With that out of the way, here are the three (main) reasons my daughters won’t be feminists.

Feminism Won’t Empower My Daughters – It Will Enslave Them

This is actually pretty simple. Imagine you live in a universe with no limits. Anything you want to do, feel or experience – you can. If you want to fly – then great. If you want to grow webbed feet and swim, also doable.

Now think about a world with limits (like the one we live in) – you can’t fly, become frogman or travel to Honalulu in 5 minutes flat.

Which of these places sounds best? The one with no perceivable limits, or the one limited by unseen barriers.

I want to look at the glass ceiling and gender equality in the work place. Right now, Feminism teaches that there is a grand conspiracy (called the Patriarchy – scary right?) which seeks to limit girls’ achievements.

You can’t see this ‘Patriarchy’ but it’s all around you – limiting your ability for success in a thousand unseen ways.

Is that an idea you want to propagate in your daughters’ minds? That despite their best efforts in life, they will have no control of the outcome and instead be at the mercy of a shadowy global conspiracy?

Or do you want to truly empower them by telling them they truly can be anything they want to be – no limits, no obsessive push towards STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) subjects when all they want to do is paint and raise children.

A key part of this idea is focused on the laughably fictional ‘wage gap’. This is the idea that women receive 79% percent of the pay that men do. Except this figure is arrived at by deeply flawed analysis of figures. (If you want to read a dismantling of the ‘wage gap’ mythology, read this by Jack Murphy).

Added to all of this is the terror of what has been dubbed ‘rape culture’. This is where young women are told by Feminists that they can (and probably will) be raped by a man at any time and that every man is a rapist in waiting.

Except it’s false – none of this is backed up by any hard data or facts. Suggestions have been made of a ‘1 in 4’ rape rate which is almost unimaginable in it’s horrendousness.

Except that I’ve lived somewhere where that ‘1 in 4’ rate was a reality. In 2008 I lived on the Congo-Uganda border.

A village close to where I lived had a massive rate of HIV infection and teenage pregnancy caused by – you guessed it: an actual rape culture where most boys first sexual encounters were forced and rape was seen as a right of passage.

What is a father’s response to this? Are there men out there that would do your daughter’s harm? Yes, but there are steps you can take to make sure that she is able to make good choices about relationships (and be able to defend herself).

this dad does why my daughters wont be feminists

Feminism is Used to Oppress Others

Here’s a word you’ve probably never heard before: Intersectionality. Now you’ve seen it, you’ll spot it everywhere (and I mean everywhere). 

Instersectional theory takes the dots of legitimate and real past oppression of Black Americans, homosexuals, people with disabilities, women, fat people etc etc and draws imaginary lines between them to join them up effectively creating a hierarchy of victimhood.

The problem is this: Intersectional theory dictates that you cannot be oppressor and oppressed. If you’re male (part of the Patriarchy) you cannot in-turn be subject to sexism (laughably called ‘reverse sexism’) or violent/sexual abuse at the hands of a woman.

Or if you’re Israeli (oppressing the poor, doughty Palestinians/Hamas) you can’t be part of a Gay Pride parade.

So if you’re a Jew, you can survive real and horrific persecution at the hands of the Nazi’s as well as plenty of other political systems through the ages, but you can’t possibly be part of the Pride movement under these new rules.

The real joke is this: Feminism, with it’s roots in Suffrage, was a movement for equality under the law for all. But now, it represents anything but.

Instead it is used as a tool to oppress other people – men, other women who don’t conform and anyone who doesn’t ascribe to this fixed and poisonous ideology. (If you don’t believe me, just wait for the comment section to fill up).

That’s not something my daughters are going to be a part of.

Feminism Doesn’t want my Daughters to Raise Families

Right now in the UK, there is a massive court battle going on over a little sick baby called Charlie Garde. His parents want to fly him to the US for experimental treatment, his doctors in the UK don’t.

Here’s the thing: many of the most vocal proponents of ending the baby’s life by switching off life support are feminists or come from the feminist-supporting main stream media.

Support for deregulation of abortion (including the horror-movie-esque late term abortions) come directly from the feminist lobby along with columns on why having children is bad and living the child-free life is good.

All of this is wrapped up in a big fat cognitive dissonant wrapper of regret having ‘missed the boat’ of motherhood while chasing that STEM career in order to smash the patriarchy and narrow that wage gap.

The problem is that this doesn’t resonate with the ordinary women I know – hard working, intelligent ladies who want to raise kids, love babies and have deep and caring hearts.

Raising a family is the ultimate fulfilment for a woman and has brought untold joy to my own wife even in the few short years she’s been a mother.

My daughters won’t grow up despising men, unborn children or a traditional family life. They’ll see it as something of value – to be preserved and cherished because they’ll have seen it done right.

Feminism Has to Change

If you call yourself a feminist and read this far, then well done. But this little section at the end is for you. Feminism has to change. What started off as an honourable movement all those years ago has morphed into something almost unrecognisable.

Feminism is a threat to my daughters – it’s teaching will enslave them, teach them to oppress and suppress anyone who they don’t like/don’t agree with and will teach them to abhor children, both born and unborn.

Instead I’ll be teaching my daughters that everyone is equal under the law and that God loves all men and women. I’ll teach them to value life wherever it is found, to fight for what they believe in and to pursue their dreams – whatever they may be.

That’s where I’m headed. What about you?

P.S. If you liked this, you’ll enjoy my book which is out soon. Pre-Order it here.

About Neil M White

Neil has been writing for a number of years. He has worked as a freelance writer both in the UK and internationally and has worked on a number of high profile media projects. Neil spends his spare time hiking, in the gym or hanging out with his family.

4 comments add your comment

  1. Personally I don’t recognise the type of feminism you describe that oppresses and suppresses. But I suppose that’s the problem with this whole debate – we all have our own experiences and draw from what we know. The feminists I know (and, I like to think, myself) are all amazingly kind, caring, supportive women who help those less fortunate, but respect that everyone is different and has a right to hold different views. Feminism to me is about enabling everyone to reach their goals, whether that be to raise a family or go to to the moon, be that man, woman or other, whilst being respectful and supportive to other people along your journey. That’s my definition and why I DO call my feminist and am proud to.

    • Hi Alice, thanks for reading and for your comment. I think you raise a really excellent point about what feminism should be. I was inspired by reading Emilie Pankhurst’s memoir and the passion and zeal she had to fight for the vote. But it seems now that has been lost and exchanged for misandry and shrieking – where before there was debate and persuasive activism. Hopefully feminism as a movement can return to these roots and I’m grateful for women like you who would take up the challenge to return it there.

  2. As the proud father of a beloved daughter, let me just say that I want her to have the so-called “whole damn dollar” as a worker. I also absolutely believe – and want her to absolutely believe – that she is or should be 100% equal in humanity, value, & rights to any man or any other woman. Furthermore, rape is no joke. I recently saw an article that referenced a 1 in 8 rape ratio of women in France and I have no reason to doubt the statistic. The reaction of any reasonable person to such a statistic should be nothing other than disgust and outrage. I can’t imagine that the same statistic for the USA would be any better and could be be worse, given our even less egalitarian society. Finally, while I’m most certainly no fan of abortion itself (is anyone?), the so-called “pro-lifers,” at least in the USA, are really just “pro-birthers.” If there were reasonable social support for children and their mothers (such as publicly funded daycare, preschool, pre-K) , particularly single mothers and their children, as well as less social stigma for such mothers, as well as reasonable economic opportunities for young families, then perhaps many would-be mothers wouldn’t opt for abortion, in the first place. Our daughters would be well-served by a political program that both fully affirmed their equality with our sons as well as effectively addressed the underlying economic issues at the root of almost all of our social problems.

Leave a Comment