What is the best advice for new Dads? Did you just find out you’re going to be a father and everyone is throwing wisdom your way? Does some of it make sense and some of it contradict itself?
When you’re a new Dad, everyone (and I mean everyone) wants to tell you their stories and tips. At first it’s nice – you like all the attention. But after a while this really grates and can become oppressive.
Some of the advice can be tipped with ‘schadenfreude’ as if your would-be adviser wants you to fail at fatherhood.
Thankfully I’m here to help with my no-nonsense, ‘secretly-hoping-you’ll-fail-so-I-can-laugh-free’ advice for new Dads. What will it contain? You’ll have to keep reading to find out.
What you won’t find is a load of generic, half baked garbage that you’ll find on other Dad Blogs (hint: they’re all worthless drivel, avoid avoid avoid).
Instead I’m going to literally blow your mind with my wisdom from having two kids (and another on the way).
The Best Advice for New Dads
This advice is split into three sections. Why three? Because it’s a magic number – duh. Also I like threes and good things come in threes. Could I have written more than three pieces of advice? Yes.
But I didn’t.
And if you want to know why, you’ll have to skip to the end (or just wait patiently like the rest of us.
Look After Yourself
Here’s a starter for 10: When you become a Dad for the first time, who is the most important person that you need to look after.
If you answered ‘The Baby’ or ‘My Wife’ then you’re wrong and you have zero points. Not a very good start is it?
The most important person that you need to look after is you. If you are an emotional, sleep deprived, low energy mess when the baby is born, who else is going to singlehandedly lead your growing family through those dark few days? The baby’s mother?
Wrong. She’s going to be in so much pain/shock/emotional flux that you’re going to have to run the show for a while – which you should be anyway. But if not, now’s your time to step up to the plate.
To do this, you need the trinity of healthy fatherhood which is:
I would also advice some form of mental exercising such as meditation or prayer. I like to combine the two with Wim Hof breathing for an oxygenated, spiritual hit.
Best Advice for New Dads: Always Have a Plan
Remember the 4 ‘Ps’: A lack of planning leads to poor parental performance. You’ll quickly learn that you need a plan for pretty much everything.
Going to the shops with baby in tow? You need a plan. Visiting friends? You need a plan. Out for a walk… so you get the idea.
Military training taught me two things:
1: Sleeping in a ditch during a rain storm is the least fun you can have
2: Always have your kit packed and ready to go.
Eventually you’ll need to leave the house with baby and mother in tow. Make sure you have everything you’re going to need in bag. Check it the night before if you need to.
For a new baby, nappies, wipes, scented bags, changing mat and hand sanitiser are a must. When the kids are older, snacks and entertainment before more important.
Ignore Ninety Percent of What you Read or Hear
I mean it. And here’s why: You already possess the tools and ability to be an adequate father. As long as your child doesn’t become an axe murderer you’ve succeeded.
Billions of men before you have been good, loving and protective Dads. They didn’t have Mumsnet, Good Men Project or Buzzfeed to tell them how to do it. They just did the best they could and everything worked out fine.
A fraction of them failed. But you’re not like them – partly because you’re reading this trying to find out how to ace fatherhood.
By now, you’re getting to understand that there can be a thing as ‘too much advice’. Unless no one in your social circle knows you’re going to be a father, you’re already there.
Which is why my best advice for new dads is this: Don’t take too much advice from anyone. You already have the skills to succeed and be a completely adequate patriarch.
Anything I tell you will just be finishing, icing on the cake, a final coat of gloss. Be good at the fundamentals of being a caring, involved leader and the rest will follow.
‘Best Advice for New Dads’ is Big Business
Have you noticed just how many books are out there offering advice for new Dads? There are hundreds. That’s because there’s big money in it. New and future dads just like you are freaking out daily about what it’s going to be like.
And yes, it will be tough. Possibly the toughest thing you’ve ever done. But it will also be the most enjoyable and rewarding thing you could do with your life.
Don’t fear it, embrace it.
P.S. Enjoyed this? Then you’ll love my new book ‘A Father’s Mission’ which is out later in 2017. Sign up here for updates.