Do your hands tell a story? What I mean is this: What can other people tell about you just by looking at your hands? It’s a strange thought isn’t it?

When I read Joe Navarro’s seminal book on body language (read my review here), I was struck by how much human expression and communication is delivered through the hands.

People who use sign language even use their hands as part of their main form of person-to-person communication. Your hands can do the most complex of tasks – think heart surgery, or the most basic – throwing a punch.

What if you also saw your hands as a catalogue of your life up to this point? What lessons would you have learned? What experiences could you be grateful for? And could any of this inspire and motivate you to be a better Dad?

 

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A Story of A Happy Marriage

One of the most noticeable thing about my hands is my ring. It’s made from Palladium – precious white metal similar to platinum and was bought from a jewellery wholesaler in a dingy alley in downtown Glasgow (see, it even has its own story).

I recently wrote about marriage and the lessons I’d learned in that time. I don’t believe that it has any mystical power or will bring me good luck. However when I take it off for the gym, I miss its weight and shape.

Being married isn’t a walk in the park. To be honest, living a life of enforced solitude and singleness is probably easier in the long run. Certainly opting to remain childless would have been easier.

But who wants easy when there is a wealth of life to experience? Highs and lows. Tears and laughter. That’s what marriage and kids brought me and I wouldn’t trade it for a whole life’s worth of free time.

I’d be jumping the gun if I said I had the key to a successful marriage, but I’ve found that prioritising for quality time together has wide ranging positive impacts. Even if that means watching a TV show together or going out once a month ‘sans kids’, it can really open the channels of communication.

A Story of Mis-Spent Youth

Look at my right hand. What do you see at the base of my thumb? A scar.

Want to know how I got it?

I was at a house party. I must have been 19 and I remember being in the basement of the house where the hosts had set up a DJ booth and bar. As I was walking up the steep stairs out of the basement, my right hand caught on something.

It was only the next morning, on sobering up, that I realised I had a deep cut running from my wrist up to my thumb.

At the time I laughed it off but it could have been different – another half inch down up my arm and a little bit deeper and I’m in trouble.

It’s a constant reminder of months and years (and hundreds of pounds) wasted on self destructive drinking. I came out the other side after staying sober for three years. I don’t live with many regrets, but the time and energy I wasted through heavy drinking is one.

If you’re caught up in self-destructive behaviour – porn, drinking, compulsive gambling, secret eating – now is the time to make changes. Don’t do it for anyone else – do it for you.

A Story of Increased Resilience

Underneath the 3rd, 4th and 5th finger on each of my hands is a rough callous of toughened skin. But that wasn’t always that way.

Because I used to wear silly little lifting gloves when I went to the gym – here’s why:

I didn’t want my soft little man hands to hurt. If I didn’t wear the gloves, my hands would get sore and red. It was uncomfortable and would sting.

I don’t remember what changed but one day I was in the gym and I just took them off. I have no recollection of why.

And yes, my hands hurt. And after the next workout they hurt even more and so on.

But after a couple of weeks, something changed. My skin started to toughen and the palms of my hands didn’t sting anymore.

When you think about it – that’s a lot like tough times in life. The process hurts but you come out the other end stronger, more accomplished and ready to do it all again.

If you’re going through a difficult time at home, with the kids, at work or with your health, be assured that you will develop the metaphorical tough skin and callouses. These will prepare and propel you on towards the rest of your life.

It’s your story – not every chapter will be sunshine and happiness. It’s how you deal with the difficult times that shapes you.

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Future Stories: A Field of Opportunities

I still consider myself a young man. My story is far from finished. I refuse to see my life’s path as a tightrope I have to walk – rather it’s an expansive field of dreams where I can do a lot and achieve even more. Losing sight of that can be disastrous.

Your hands are incredible creations and store so much of your story. Don’t be afraid to change yours or create a new chapter if you need to.

Do your hands have a story to tell? Leave a comment or Tweet me a pic with the hashtag #HandsTellAStory

 

P.S. If you like stories, you’ll love my emails. I send them out once every two weeks, plus I’ll send you a FREE Dad Bod Fat Loss pdf when you sign up here.

About Neil M White

Neil has been writing for a number of years. He has worked as a freelance writer both in the UK and internationally and has worked on a number of high profile media projects. Neil spends his spare time hiking, in the gym or hanging out with his family.

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