10 Skills Dads Need to Learn

 

During the launch of This Dad Does, I asked readers and followers on Twitter this question:

What’s the One Skill All Dads Should Have?

I was overwhelmed by the responses I got. There were so many good and varying answers. I’ve been able to distill  and paraphrase the ten best ones into this post.

1. Basic First Aid

This might sound boring as a starter but think about it: how likely is it that you will need to administer first aid to someone in your life time? Better to know what you are doing than be the guy in the corner freaking out.

Recently at a family outing to a restaurant an older member of the group fainted. Because I had first aid training, I was able to assist. And remain calm. This meant that everyone else stayed calm – including the restaurant staff – saving an unnecessary trip to the hospital.

Having a first aid kit in the house is an absolute necessity. It doesn’t have to be in a fancy box. A tupperware with bandages, plasters, anti-septic, gauze etc will suffice for 99% of household injuries. A smaller version for the nappy bag is also useful if you have toddlers/young children.

Formal training is easy and inexpensive. You can find local classes online. Some free classes are available for parents too. Your local health board can advise you.

2. Know How to Invest in the Stock Market

If you’ve got any amount of surplus cash, you should be looking to save as much as possible. Cash is fine for emergencies but the interest rates are woeful. Property is OK if you have the capital to splurge and don’t mind being a landlord. But there are other options.

I’ve been investing in stocks and shares via an ISA for over 11 years. In that time, some of my investments have quadrupled. Others, not so much. But on balance, they have easily outperformed any cash I have had.

You should always chat to a financial adviser if you’re not sure what you’re doing. I’ve done a version of Pound Cost Averaging, investing lump sums whenever I can in whatever funds I feel like. A lot of people see this as the smart way to invest. There are loads of tips and tutorials on YouTube on Cost Averaging. This is my favourite – mainly because it’s a cartoon.

3. Be Able to Cook at Least Five Healthy Recipes from Scratch

Five is an absolute minimum. If you aren’t able to do this, it’s time to learn. Either get someone to teach you, take a cookery class or buy a recipe book. You can also find easy recipes on this site, such as my super easy Liver and Bacon. These should also be dishes that the kids are going to enjoy. My five suggestions would be:

• Lamb Curry
• Chicken Chow Mein
• Spaghetti Bolognese
• Whole Roast Chicken
• Scrambled Eggs, Beans on Toast

These dishes are not only easy but quick to make or prepare. Just because it’s your turn to cook, doesn’t mean you have to reach for the frozen fish fingers. A few minutes with a wok or a crock pot and some healthy ingredients and you can cook up a family feast for not very much money.

4. Entertaining Children. Indefinitely

Being a children’s entertainer is a profession for some. For you it’s a necessity. An extended wait in an airport could be a potential disaster. Unless it can quickly be turned into a gargantuan game of hide and seek.

Learn walking routes close to where you live. Local parks or woods are perfect. When the kids are driving your other half up the wall, go on an impromptu expedition. Make up a game while you walk. We like to pretend we are the Bear Hunting family from the children’s book of the same name.

Be prepared. If you go out for any reason, take a selection of toys and books. You never know when you might need them. Invent games to play in the garden. One of my favourites is ‘Who can pick up the most leaves and put them in the brown bin’ (yes this actually works).

5. How to Juggle While Riding a Unicycle

Yes this was a genuine suggestion from one of my Twitter followers. Unfortunately I can’t do either, but having a party piece or unique skill is useful and lot of fun. Growing up, my Uncles were always competing with each other as to who had the best party piece. I used to laugh until I couldn’t stand.

Kids still love that stuff and if your kids think you’re lame, their friends will probably love it. In a time of tension or stress, doing a silly trick or telling a joke can really turn things around.

One that always seems to get a laugh (even in teenagers, occasionally) is pretending that a soft toy is alive. I don’t know why, but kids seem to love it.

6. How to Style a Girls Hair

If you’re like me, the thought of ever having to style your daughter’s hair fills you with dread. What do you do in those intervening years when she cares but can’t quite do it herself? Send her out in a Rasta hat?

Recently I saw this article: Single Dad sets up class to teach other Dads how to style their daughters’ hair.

This single Dad is renting out a hair salon to teach other Dads how to do their girls hair. What a great idea.

Sadly it’s in the US, so not something I can take advantage of. But if you’re a hair salon in Glasgow and you’re thinking of replicating this, I will be first to sign up.

7. Manage your Time Effectively

Of all the answers to my question during launch, this was the most common. Dads want to be able to manage time and priorities so that they are successful at work, healthy and good Dads. If this is you, you are reading the right website.

I’m going to include more time management posts in the future but there is one relevant lesson I learned from reading Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich:

When it comes to time management and achieving goals, it’s important to focus on one at a time. Do your kids need your full attention? Focus fully on that. Does your career need some work? Focus on that. Getting a Dad Bod?

You get the picture.

That doesn’t mean ignore your kids while you hit the gym seven times a week. But make whatever you’re doing the main priority until you’re sorted. Then focus on something else. You’ll find time much easier to manage and you’ll be less guilt ridden.

8. Operate with Limited Sleep

The words ‘sleep deprivation’ get banded about by Dads all the time. But let me tell you, until you feel your body shutting down and begin hallucinating – at the same time – you are not sleep deprived.

However, you are likely to be tired at times and will need to draw on powers of self control and discipline. I find this to be the case particularly if I’m hungry. Military training taught me to get sleep when I can. That means getting an early night or taking naps if you need it.

If you’re tired because you stayed up till 11pm to watch the Walking Dead on Netflix, you’re not going to get much sympathy from anyone.

9. Be a Life Coach

A Dad I know recently described a Father’s role as a mix of Sergent-Major and Life Coach. Maybe. But I’m going to go with more of the latter. There will be days when your kids need a coach, not a metaphorical kick up the backside.

A good life coach will ask the right questions to allow their client to come up with solutions to problems, occasionally interjecting with possible suggestions to solve the problem. The G-R-O-W model is useful for structuring these types of talks with older kids and teens (adults too):

• Goal – What do you want the end result to be?
• Reality – Where are you now. What is the reality of the situation?
• Options – What options do you have. What are their strengths and weaknesses?
• What – What option are you going to select?

10. How to Enjoy the Outdoors

This suggestion came from my good friend and Outdoorsman Tom Gold. He spoke of his own father teaching him bush craft and how to enjoy the outdoors. Something he’s been able to pass on to his own kids.

You don’t have to be Bear Grylls to get your children outdoors and enjoying playing outside. Go to a local wood and mess about, make some shelters, cook some marshmallows and tell stories round the campfire. These are memories your kids will cherish forever. Remember to ask permission before setting fires.

 

That’s the list. There were probably over 100 suggestions and I’ve tried to include as many as possible. If you have any more suggestions, post them in the comments below.

 

P.S. Got any ideas for my next Big Question? Send me a Tweet or Email me.