10 Lessons from a Year of Gorilla Mindset: Part 1

As I write this, it’s just over a year to the day that I bought the book Gorilla Mindset. And what a year it’s been. It’s only right that I do a summary of what I’ve learned since buying Gorilla Mindset as well as looking to the future. Keep reading to find out more.

First off a bit of background: Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich was the first mindset book aimed specifically at men. It’s turned into a self-published hit of King Kong proportions with almost 30,000 copies sold in its first year (read my review here)

Reading it was a turning point in my life. Before reading it, I was in a place of quiet desperation and victimhood. The book was the catalyst that changed everything.

The remarkable thing was that the book didn’t change my life. I did. I already knew what had to be done and possessed the skills to do it. Gorilla Mindset was just the key that unlocked the door.

This might sound gushing and contrived to you if you haven’t read the book. But trust me, every man and woman who has read it going to be nodding along in agreement to this post.

I had originally planned this to be one long blog post of ten different learning points from the last year. However as I kept writing, it became clear that it was going to need to be split into two parts. This post represents the first five lessons. Part two will cover the remainder.

Mike Cernovich is a Success Because of his Abundance Mindset

When I bought and read Gorilla Mindset, I knew nothing about the author – where he came from, what his story was. But since then I’ve spent time listening to his podcast back catalogue and reading older blog posts.

Now I get it. For years, Cernovich has been producing content that helps build up men’s lives. And he’s done most of it without asking for a penny in return. He didn’t start a blog so he could take advantage of people or plug pointless products.

He did it because he wanted young, lost men to feel like they belonged again.

Like they had worth.

That’s abundance.

And that’s how Mike was able to sell so many books with almost zero promotion and media coverage – when he did finally release his book, men bought it by their thousands. Because they knew it would be good.

I now see that in other successful people like pro-boxer, physics major and philosopher Ed Latimore. He gives to anyone who will receive and his following grows and grows.

The take home is this: highly effective people practice abundance. Stephen Covey writes about this in ‘7 Habits’ – a self help classic. Success comes to those who give to others. Cernovich is living proof of this.

Gorilla Mindset Summary: Gorilla Mindset is Cyclical

If you’ve watched the Gorilla Mindset seminar you know what I’m talking about. In the book, the concepts are linear. But written in a circle, they feed off each other. Most of the concepts are linked to one or more of the others.

When I first saw this I couldn’t believe I’d missed it. I’d had a feel for the progressive nature of the mindset techniques but not how they interacted with one another.

Does this apply to other parts of your life? Undoubtedly. Think about your lifestyle – family, fitness, food, work, play: all are interconnected and cyclic. If you neglect one, it begins to affect the others. You cannot have fulfillment or satisfaction if one part of your life is out of whack.

That doesn’t mean you can’t feel pain or suffering but if your lifestyle is on point, it’s easier to cope when adversity strikes.

It’s worth spending time doing the lifestyle audit in Gorilla Mindset. I made significant changes after doing this and committed to not taking on any new responsibilities. Neglecting your health or family due to a busy schedule isn’t a good idea in the long term. Weakness in one area will lead to deficiencies in others.

You Already Possess the Tools to Make Your Life Better

A common criticism of Gorilla Mindset is this:

“There’s nothing original, nothing new. Just loads of repackaged techniques from different places that I already knew.”

Which I actually agree with. The more I know about Mike, the more I understand his influences. But it’s the WAY it has been repackaged that make it valuable. After realising the he drew heavily on NLP (short for neuro-linguistic programming) I read up on the main principles.

I quickly realised that while Gorilla Mindset drew on NLP, it has also refined, distilled and perfected most of the theory and practice behind NLP including positive self talk, framing and state control.

As I alluded to earlier I knew many of the things in Gorilla Mindset to be true and applicable to my own life. But I’d never given thought about how to incorporate them into my day to day living.

On a subconscious level, I’d even started to make changes before picking up the book. I was starting to reframe my challenges as opportunities for taking different paths. On some level it was as if I was being primed to read it.

Which is now a challenge for you if you feel like your lifestyle is letting you down. You already know what you need to do to make it better – get more exercise, lift weights, spend more time with your kids, cut unnecessary spending and so on.

So why not do it? Are you worried about not knowing where to start? Don’t worry, there’s a cure for that too. Keep reading to find out what.

Doing a Little Each Day Gets the Job Done

I used to get the train to work. It was a short journey and so while on the train or waiting, I would daydream or flick through my phone.

One day I thought: what if I brought a book and just read a few pages when I’m waiting or sitting on the train. A few minutes here and there – I might get quite a lot of reading done.

So I started. And the results were unbelievable. I started tearing through books. Not because I’m a fast reader – I actually read pretty slowly. Instead it was down to basic mathematics:

2 x train journeys of 15 minutes = 30 minutes

Plus

2 x 15 minute wait for trains = 30 minutes

X 5 = 5 HOURS OF EXTRA READING A WEEK.

That’s five hours I’d previously spent doing absolutely nothing.

OK, so what’s that got to do with Gorilla Mindset? In the chapters on lifestyle and health, the actionable points are all about making small changes or wins that add up to a big change/win.

Right now, spend an average of an hour a day working on This Dad Does and one or two other projects. It’s slow growth but things are growing and building all the time.

This translates into other areas of life. One of the key aspects of 5/3/1 training (read all about that here) is that it focuses on slow and steady gains in strength. There’s no ‘ADD 50lbs TO YOUR BENCH IN 3 WEEKS’ rubbish. The programme is focused on small gains. Every. Single. Workout. These add up until you’re beating PRs and rep records every day.

My favourite Mike Cernovich podcast is ‘How to Get Started’. I’ve listened to it over and over and made significant changes as a result. When I’m building my website or doing other projects, I think ‘Brick by Brick’ (hint: you need to listen to the audio to understand this fully).

https://soundcloud.com/dangerandplay/mike-cernovich-how-to-get-started-business-success-and-life

There’s so much of life that this can be applied to. Are you struggling to have quality time with your kids? 30 minutes per day of real quality time spent reading, playing a board game adds up over a year (7.5 full days of quality time).

Do you need to work at your marriage (newsflash – everyone does!) then the same principles apply. An hour spent with each other every day talking or watching a favourite TV show builds and maintains the bond you need to stay united and intimate with each other.

Play the margins and look for small wins – they’ll add up over time and bring the results you want.

Consistency and Discipline Bring Results

The other side of playing the margins is having the discipline to see it through. If used correctly, the Gorilla Mindset shift of improved self talk, mood and being in the moment all add together to bring about greater discipline.

Discipline in what? Good question. Let’s look at one aspect of my life that changed in the last year: pornography usage and engagement. It takes discipline to rid yourself of the urge to view and engage with pornography – particularly when those images are all pervasive in Western society.

What would you rather do? Spend a free hour watching porn or building a business or a well read blog? Which of these activities is going to benefit you in the long run?

That’s the conversation I still have with myself – what would you rather be doing? Or: is this the best use of my time? That’s the self talk aspect.

But also being in control of moods and urges – I’ve brainwashed myself that I don’t like porn – that it’s filthy, destructive and time wasting. Through taking control of my moods and urges, I’ve kicked a destructive habit that has plagued me for most of my adult life.

Use consistency and discipline as weapons to destroy time wasting, destructive or non-productive habits.

Consistently go to the gym.

Consistently eat right.

Consistently show your wife, your kids the love they deserve.

Consistently break bad habits.

Neither Mike Cernovich nor I can do these things for you. You must take ownership and responsibility for yourself.

 

Closing Thoughts and A Preview of Part Two

Gorilla Mindset isn’t for everyone. I’ve recommended it to plenty of people. A few have bought it. Most haven’t. Not everyone is ready or at the right stage to read and apply the principles. But when I picked up the book for the first time, it was like having an epiphany. The more I read, the more I was sure that I was changing permanently.

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience? Maybe not. Maybe you’ve read this post and are now convinced I’ve joined a cult (maybe I have).

Here’s my question in response:  If reading one book could improve your quality of life forever, would you do it?

Part 2 is almost written – in my head at least. There’s much more to talk about – for example: how I got my love of books back, how I learned to breathe again and how I learned to have laser-like focus on my goals.

Until then, keep pushing forward.

Click here to buy Gorilla Mindset on Amazon

Neil.

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, you’re a prime candidate to sign up to my email list. It’s an elite band of young men dedicated do doing more. I’ll also send you a free ebook. Sign up here.